Closetblonde Tries the Carrie Bradshaw Twenty-Something Perspective

When it comes to relationships, there are three notable characters that can be described as follows:

1. The Serial Dater
Duration of Relationships: Anything from the expiry date of the milk in their fridge to as long lasting as their semi-permanent hair rinse.
Not to be Mistaken for: The Town Bicycle.
Characteristics: The serial dater is never without a boyfriend or girlfriend and their dating lives (depending on whose perspective,) can be as exciting and glamorous as Melrose Place, cringe worthy like a bad re-run of an 80's dating game show, or plain incestuous if it goes on for too long in a small town. The difference between the serial dater and the town bicycle is that the serial dater is dating for the quest for love, and the other is just....taking everybody for a ride. The burning question I have to ask is how does the serial dater manage to find so many eligible people to date? Is it a case of not being picky or do they genuinely just like everybody? Do serial daters in small towns expand their eligibility criteria to include first and second cousins? (And hey, it's all good and legal - I know after four years of political and legal studies.) Some of these multiple daters claim to be self confessed "love fools" (and aren't particularly discriminatory about it,) some are scared of the thought of being alone, and others I think, simply enjoy the thrill of dating.


2. The Long Term Relationship-ers
Duration of the Relationships: For what seems like eternity...... (Or as pop 80's singer Rick Astley said, "Together forever and ever and never to part....") They go steady with their partner for so long, that it's like the equivalent of your entire primary school career. (And wasn't that seven torturous years with the skipping ropes and the leader ball.....)
Can Sometimes Be Mistaken for: The serial dater. Some of these long term relationship-ers cannot socially and emotionally function in life without being part of a "half", and end up going slightly psycho when not in one. In extreme cases, they can be seen throwning themselves onto other unsuspecting singletons in efforts to get back into that comfortable long term relationship. The odour of desperation is akin to watching a bad car accident - you don't want to look but can't help but look.... The "throwing yourself onto somebody else" technique can work eventually - particularly if it is a girl going after a guy. As we all know, guys are somewhat stupid and usually lack insight into what is going on..... For other long term relationship-ers, they seem to be able to make that smooth transition from break up to new long term relationship in a space of four weeks or less.
Characteristics: The long term relationship-ers are the ones who have been paired up for so long that their names become a hyphenated term instead of individual names. Example: "Peter" and "Katrina" becoming the one single individual of "Peterina". For some reason, a lot of these people seem to be of the two "A's" - Asians and Allied Health Professionals. They are also able to conduct very long distant relationships (I'm talking continents apart,) for many years without any apparent difficulties. The long term relationship-ers I am describing are the ones who do not lead separate lives. They are the ones who are joined at the hip, and do everything together at the expense of abandoning friends. They feel an intense need to be together to the point of demanding restaurants make changes to the physcial environment so that they can sit side by side. The long term relationship-ers manage to go steady from a very young age (think thirteen or fourteen). The question I want to ask here is how does one manage to be compatible with someone in a similar way from age thirteen through to twentyfive? Are there no significant changes from age fourteen through to thrity, and do they continue to want to stay with that same person for the same reasons some fifteen years ago? This is interesting given the amount of people who marry the love of their life in their twenties, only to then hit forty, totally freak out, start buying that fancy sports car, getting a hair weave/dyeing their hair, and then trading up their partner for a newer shinier model.


3. The Perpetually Single
Not to be Mistaken for: The downright ugly or unattractive. (Obviously ugly doesn't necessarily mean single or unattractive because as a guy, if you are rich, you can have yourself any beautiful model trophy wife.)
Characteristics: The perpetually single are the ones who never seem to date and are hardly ever involved in a relationship. The perpetually single are not any less attractive or uglier than the 'serial daters' or the 'long term relationship-ers', but for some reason are always....single. The question is why? Are they just more picky with who they date? Is it because they are not bothered about being in a relationship or it is a case of generally being unlucky in love?


Food for thought....

Signing off,
Closetblonde xoxo

The Fringe Festival is Fringe Worthy

Some quirky facts that you may or may not know about the Edinburgh Fringe Festival:

1. Poles, as in the street kind, not the people who live in Warsaw, become pregnant overnight.

The poles are so flyer/poster laden that you could probably have a WWF match and fling somebody onto one of these with little injury aside from the odd paper cut.


2. Expect to see colour, vibrance and life everywhere you turn.

From the sky to the ground, it was sensory overload!!! (In a good way.)


3. Never assume that just because somebody is on the ground, that they're drunk.

(Below: Brought to you by the Sweeney Todd production)

4. Lionel Richie owned everything at the Fringe 2008 from stickers to badges to coasters.

5. The Scottish are to be blamed for the creation of nursing home food as their national dish

(Above: Mmm, vitamised goodness....)

Haggis, neeps and tatties - the above is actually one of the more presentable looking ones. You'd usually expect the potato and turnip to be more of a grey colour and to look mushier..... Scary to say, but it's a close call between this and Cor-hinese food.


6. Never believe when they say a show is sold out.

(Above: N with her "golden ticket"!)

If you're willing to put out, the world is your oyster..... ONLY KIDDING, N.!!!


7. If you're proud to be a Scots, be sure to wear your tartan pants AND matching tartan tie to impress the ladies.

8. Be sure to always make nice to the little budgie.....