Merry Christmas

....from the ginger gingerbeard men in Gingerland

....from the Christmas markets in Krakow





...and the Christmas markets in Antwerp







...and the Christmas markets in Bruges

xxxoo

As a Post-Christmas Social Commentary after living in four different countries (never mind that I didn't have TV in London and that I've only spent two Christmases in little P town); I'd like to compile the Annual Christmas TV Re-Runs List with a few culturally specific programmes added on the side.

The Undisputed Christmas Re-Runs List
Regardless of race, colour or creed, there is an unspoken expectation that these shows will be aired over the Christmas/New Year's period.

1. Home Alone. (Which one? Why not all of them.)

Since the early '90's, Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without Macaulay's angelic face & trademark scream.

2. The Simpson's Christmas special
(There's now 19 seasons to choose from, so if you have cable TV, that pretty much guarantees a Simpson's movie marathorn.)

3. Oliver Twist
(So many versions have been made over the years, but the one thing they all have in common is a Fagin with red hair. Why is that so? I don't recall Charles Dickens explicitly saying that he had red hair so exactly what is the film industry trying to say...? :p

And why is Oliver Twist considered a Christmas movie? Is it because the bleakness of industrial London matches the bleak greyness of winter over here in the UK/Europe?

4. A Christmas Carol

There's the Patrick Stewart version, the cartoon Uncle Scrooge version, the Muppet version.... Take your pick. If Charles Dickens was alive, he'd be raking it in with the royalties. (He could have been a modern day true life version of "About A Boy's" Will Freeman.) Imagine, he gets Oliver Twist and A Christmas Carol all in the same holiday season. Doesn't get any better than that.Talk about influence. BAM.

5. A Mr Bean Christmas

Heh, who can forget that oversized, fake turkey? "Have you got the turkey on....?"

6. Miracle on 34th Street

From what I've seen in my 26 years, TV seems to favour the 1994 version. Maybe because it's in colour. After visiting New York twice, I still can't figure out what's so special about 34th Street.

7. The Ten Commandments

Sure.... Laugh at the baby floaty pool of water, but back in the day, it was cool special fx.

8.It's a Wonderful Life

An old classic on the top of the list.

9. How the Grinch Stole Christmas

Sadly the Dr Seuss version is now usually replaced by the irritating Jim Carrey one.

10. A Charlie Brown Christmas

My Perthian friends swear that this is one of THE stereotypical Christmas reruns although admittedly I don't think I've ever seen it...?

Special Credits
The "Yet Another Tim Allen Christmas movie at the box office, not to mention the tv reruns". There's the "Santa Clause" series (all three of them), Christmas with the Kranks.... I swear there's more.....

After he churned out Christmas movie year after year, I was beginning to wonder whether Tim Allen had some special affiliation with Christmas movies (or whether he was only working at specific times of the year which meant he could only do Christmas themed movies). Although in terms of royalties with the reruns, damn, he beats Charles Dickens to a pulp, in terms of quantity anyway.

You know you're in the UK when....there's Christmas Eastenders with plenty of trouble and mayhem, whether it be somebody deviously slipping paternity test results into an unsuspecting person's Christmas cracker or somebody having a heart attack (from eating too much turkey).

"It's Christmas af'er all, innit."

You know you're in Ireland when....there's reruns of Father Ted.

You can tell that it's the Christmas special because of
a) the Christmas tree in the parochial house on the lone Craggy Island and
b) the plotline has nothing to do with Christmas mass.
(After all, how could the Irish stomach a double dose of Christmas mass and Christmas mass on Father Ted? There wouldn't be anything humorous about it at all.)

Also on offer in Ireland is "The Best of Riverdance". (You mean there's more than one Riverdance....?)

Most annoying Christmas songs that get stuck in your head (make you want to punch somebody in the face)
1. Last Christmas (the Wham version) - ARGH!! That '80's synthesizer!
2. All I want for Christmas (Mariah Carrey)......(is for you to go away).

Anyway, those are my top two. Lemme know if there's more.

The Belgium Chocolate Spectrum

A lesson in the chocolate social hierarchy.

There's chocolate with class

And then there's chocolate with the added ingredient of 'ho

The Dublin Assault with a LED Keychain Light

November 8th 2008:
It was a case of taking the train up to Dublin for the weekend to stalk - er I mean, to see Crazy P live. And as a proud creature who goes out "for the music", I went to the gig by myself, armed with my trusty LED keychain light as a means of scaring any Crazy P at Crazy P.

For those who know what I'm getting at - heh, I'm such a bitch....
And yes, I have friends....but nobody else wanted to go.

Naturally, there wasn't any trouble. (Crazy P is where the cool kids are at :p). For the "Out-For-the-Music-Creatures", there's no room for lame-o pick up lines like, "So, do you come here often...?"

The verdict? A soundbite for you to decide -
I'm afraid the magic is lost with the poor sound quality on the video cam....

May it be known for public record that I'm gonna have babies with them - never mind what I said in my London 24 Hours Crazy Party People post a while back; and to the guy who asked me which one, I say babies with ALL of them. Yes, including the chick. (She's the coolest of the bunch. :p)

Chick from Crazy P? Call me. We can share hair products :D

Crazy P aside, Dublin is a classic example of a nondescript (bigger) European city. Trademark features of this include the following:

1) European-ish looking buildings
2) A river running through the city
3) Romanian gypsies begging on the streets with their empty paper cups; (that or they're throwing "babies" at you or walking around with slips of paper asking if you speak English).
3) Chinatown (yeah, those damn Asians get around :p)
4) European high street chain stores including: Costa, Neros, H&M, Dorothy Perkins, Mango, Zara, Starbucks

5) A red city sightseeing "hop on hop off" tour bus doing a continuous loop around the city centre.
6) A melting pot of people from different countries, and different walks of life, thanks to the relaxing of immigration boarders, as the result of the European Union. Take a walk on the streets and you'd hear the sounds of people speaking anything from English, Italian, Spanish and Cantonese.

Most strangest sight in Dublin that weekend? The Indian "Santa" busker strumming his sitar to hindi music.

There's just something not quite right with that picture.....

Dig a little deeper and of course you'd soon realise you're in Dublin with Irish bars named "Murphy's" or "O'Something", and of course, the Guiness Storehouse.
The Guiness storehouse is somewhat of an interesting tribute to the most famous of Irish stouts. Guinness is derived simply from water, barley, hops & yeast. Try and stretch this Guiness story out in a large, expansive eight storey building and well, you'd be struggling after level three.

There was the extensive display of empty Guinness bottles, the "artistic" waterfall and the barrels.....and after a while, you kinda got the feeling that they were really clutching at straws with the old fashion harp in the display cabinet (apparently a part of the Guinness emblem), the torpedo that apparently hit some submarine that had some Guinness on board..... Level seven was devoted entirely to the anti-drinking campagin (conveniently located just before the Velocity bar).

But then, if drinking until you're blind drunk & vomiting all over the street is your kind of thing? Then by all means, Dublin is the city for you.