Happy Hallmark Day You Fools :p

Instead of doing my usual standard soap box rant on the manufactured day serving the purpose of filling that retail lull between Santa Claus and the Easter bunny, let me give you an amsuing true recount of the old boy's vs girl's perspective. Quoted verbatim & definitely not fabricated.

Boy telling Girl:
"You know, my girlfriend is just so beautiful.... I think this is why she doesn't have many friends. All the other girls feel threatened by her and don't want to talk to her."

Girl telling Girl:
"The reason why his girlfriend doesn't have any friends is because she doesn't make an effort to talk to anybody. And as for her being attractive? He's delusional, she looks like a horse."


Is Boy blinded by love or lacking perspective? Is Girl being bitchy or just stating facts? (Actually, if you take it from me, Girl wasn't being bitchy. It just came out that way and no, it wasn't me saying that other girls look like horses..... :p)

Food for Thought - Literally.

Artery clogging, cholesterol loading, grossly intriguing blog.....
http://thisiswhyyourefat.com

It makes me feel slightly better even though I haven't been able to go without ice-cream/hoola hoops/chocholate & raspberry muffins or a combination of three items so far this week. Life's a bitch when you're trying to lose weight to get back into that UK size 6 :/

Top Secret Tips on how to By-pass Security in an Irish Club

1. N. asks you to go up to the DJ to request a song, presumably because she's too scared to do this herself.
2. "Are you sure he's even going to have what you want?" you ask eyeing at the DJ, who is up high on a stage with no visible stairs to the top of the platform. "He looks like he's just playing off a CD."
3. Fifteen minutes later, N. asks you to request a song again. You relent.
4. You walk up to the stage, stand next to the security guard, and pass N. your handbag.
5. You move coats and jackets (which have been dumped on the stage) aside.
6. You then move bags aside.
7. You then move half finished drinks & empty glasses aside.
   
8. You hoik yourself up onto the stage and walk up to the DJ.
9. The security guard all of a sudden realises that you're there talking to the DJ.
   
10. The DJ is in fact playing off a CD. There's no "One Night in Bangkok" in that "Best of the '80's" volume one compilation.
11. You walk to go back down off the stage. The ginger security guard says something in funny Irish talk. You giggle (as you can't understand what he's saying,) and he gives you a hand down the stage.
12. "Er, I think he was telling you that you weren't meant to be up on the stage," says N. "By the time he noticed what you were doing, you were already talking to the DJ. I told him, 'Sucked in! You're too slow!" but he couldn't understand what I was saying and kept on saying, 'HUH?!"."
13. "Oh." You say. "You mean he was the security guard? I thought he was just some random guy saying something random to me."
    
14. "Didn't you see his tag?" N. asks.

Postscript
Later at a 4am feast of duck spring rolls & fried dumplings, N. mentions that the three guys' names that night were Brian.

You look at N. skeptically. "NO...... SURELY not..... You must have misheard them. How can three guys, all friends, going out together on the same night, have the exact same name? ....I don't believe you unless they were called Patrick."