V is for Valentine's & L is for Lame

I could get on my soap box and complain about how today is just another gimmicky way for retail and restaurants to make money in between Christmas and Easter, and that the lamest people are the women who claim to "hate" Valentine's Day and then all of a sudden "change" their minds when they get themselves a boyfriend; (why don't you just admit that you desperately don't want to be single,) and that whatever you receive today really isn't anything special - it's been purchased under obligation and the expectation that the goods received will be in exchange of certain services.....

......but I won't.

Instead, I present you the unofficial and unsaid rules of Facebook relationship profiling.
(If you're easily offended, please don't read on.)

1. Profile Pictures:

The definition of Profile (n. pro fil): A side view of an object or structure, especially of a human head.

Notice is says "head" and not "heads". A good example would be something like this:

A profile photos means you and not you and your significant other which is generally what most girls seem to do. That's all fine, it's your choice and your profile after all, but notice that your significant other's photo is generally of himself and not of him and you.

Just saying.
Maybe it's time to get rid of one of the heads.

2. Wedding photos quickly become profile pictures for the girls - sometimes within a space of 1 hour of getting married (inclusive of immediate surname change,) and usually no more than 48 hours post the event. The guys usually don't bother. (Geez, I wonder why.....)

3. The unspoken rules of the Wedding Profile Photo:
Having it as your profile pic for 2 months is acceptable, more than 6 months is a little weird, and longer than that warrants the label of sad. If your wedding was 2 year ago well....... I think somebody's mental status may be questionable.

4. Facebook relationship status updates are used as a tool for others to spy. For example, when I bought my Tom Tom back in 2008, I changed my by-line to something like, "Closetblonde is getting acquainted with her new boy called Tom Tom" and as a joke added the status of "in a relationship". The very next day, the lame girl at work went, "Ooooh who are you going out with?"

Before anybody says anything, I only added the lame girl because she wanted to add me and I didn't want to say no at that time because it would have made things at work very awkward. After much contemplation (over shit tv - I think it was "The Biggest Loser" - I watch it to try and scare myself to eat better), I grudgingly added her, placed her on limited profile and then culled her once I left the work place. Heh heh. Don't ask me why she added me on in the first place. It's not as if we saw eye to eye on anything. Oh - and her profile pic was of her wedding. Just saying.

Anybody asking why don't I just set my privacy settings on high so that nobody can find me......call me hopeful, but there's maybe still one or two long lost friends to be found.

5. The "Single" status:
Often put on for a little while when somebody breaks up, but if the single status goes on for what is considered "a little too long", people get embarrassed and do away with the relationship status in its entirety. Being single is a disease, after all. And then all of a sudden when people start seeing somebody, bing! The relationship status comes back up again.

And before anybody starts jumping up and down, no, I have never put a relationship status (apart from the inside joke about being engaged and then the relationship with Tom). I do not believe in putting anything down mainly because people use Facebook to spy. So whether I am seeing someone, married or whatever, the status remains unhidden.

If you want to know you have to ask. I may or may not tell you.

Happy Lame-o Day everyone.
More importantly, it is Chinese New Year and I had nobody of significance to spend that with and eat pineapple tarts and those coconut Chinese biscuits :/