Scored

Today, around lunch time, there was that familiar (and yet strangely unfamiliar) rhythmic thrusting sound coming from upstairs. I was mopping at the time and was very close to using the mop to thump at the ceiling, but thought better of it. Then Housemate 1 comes down cringing with his fingers in his ears. It takes me about a split second to realise in amazement that it is in fact, Housemate number 2 who is making the noise.

Housemate 1 says: "ARGH!!!!!!!!" makes a face and then says, "At least I'm not as loud."
I go: "No, you're even louder. It's as if you're having sex in my bedroom," (in some pornographic feature film that's only about 2 minutes long.)
Obviously I only think the last part.
Housemate 1 goes red and possibly is now scarred for life :p
The sex noises must have put off The Giggler (Housemate 1's girl) as she's usually giggling at every waking moment. (I'm still trying to figure out how she breathes in between.) All quiet on the western front from her sector - score. I know that this is petty, but it's nice when people get a little taste of their own medicine....... Such is the life of a twenty-something shared house.

Onto Housemate 2.
I. Am. Stunned. I take everything back that I've said about how he would never get a girl for the reasons of: not being able to maintain a conversation aside from grunting, (I mean, how do you approach a girl if all you do is grunt?), having a diet solely based on hamburgers, pizza, meat in the form of mince and potato chips (and not being able to stray from this,) having limited interests involving sitting on the couch, flipping channels idly and wiping his nose with the back of his hand and then his hand onto the couch. I mean, obviously, what do I know about men or relationships? I'm just the girl who tells people, "Don't touch me." and "If you try and kiss me, I'm going to punch you in the nose."
I take it all back. Everything I've ever said.

Postscript:
Later that afternoon, Housemate 1 asks me whether I've seen Housemate 2.
"I dunno," I say. "He's been constantly in and out this morning."
"Well that's for sure," says Housemate 1 sarcastically.

Ooh. Slightly bitter are we, no...?