Topsy-Turvy London

1) The Upside: There’s always something exciting happening in London – no matter what day of the week it is. The Downside: Most people don’t earn enough to go out on a regular basis (ie: they budget to go out maybe once a month…..) That or they go out every night and get by living in a 3 bedroom house with 9 other people - refuge style. (Maybe they sell their soul too, I’m not entirely sure….)

2) The Upside: People (technically) earn more in London. The Downside: People don’t earn enough to balance out the exponential rise in cost of living and are generally a lot poorer.

3) The Upside: Travel to almost anywhere (in the world) is dirt cheap. A plane to Paris takes one hour. The Downside: Travel within London is expensive and usually involves taking the tube which is unreliable as it constantly breaks down (on a daily basis), can be closed during peak time due to congestion, and generally stops working during the weekends due to “engineering works”. It takes 2 hours to travel from the North East to the South West of London on the tube.

4) The standard of health care is extremely poor. R has witnessed consultants/surgeons refuse to don masks during surgery, and consequently drip saliva into open wounds when sneezing – note that this happened in one of the “best hospitals in London”. (I tried to think of an upside but couldn’t.)

5) Accountants are Gods and earn bucket loads of money. (They are millionaires after about 4 years of work.) Doctors are slaves, and earn about ₤5 an hour (after you account for all the over time that they do). Note that ₤5 is the minimum wage in London….

6) Everybody in London is either an Australian, a Kiwi or South African on a working holiday (usually earning a nominal wage), or a non-English speaking refuge. Asians (meaning Pakistanis, Indians & Bangladeshi – Chinese people are not considered Asian!!!!) live here in great numbers. Everybody living outside of London is predominantly white – ie: a “traditional” English person who thinks Australia is exactly like “Neighbours”. (At least they don’t think we ride kangaroos to work and school.)