Amazing Race in London

4:50am Wake up to pack your provisions for Canterbury.

5:30am Leave your London flat and head to the bus stop.

5:40am Hop on the bus and head down to the tube station. (It’s only a 10

minute walk but your backpack is so heavy that you don’t think you’d be able to physically walk the distance. You vow for the second time in two weeks never to pack so many things into your backpack again.

5:42am You reach the tube station only to find out that it’s closed due to faulty fire alarms….. ARGH……

5:42:30am You run back to the same bus you just got off to try and get back on again. The bus driver wants to get going so he ignores you while you knock on the glass door in vain.

5:42:35am Another bus (same number) coincidentally pulls up at the bus stop. You hop onto this bus.

6:00am You arrive at another tube station in an attempt to catch a different line.

6:05am You get confused as to which platform to go to and ask for directions.

6:05:30am You get directions to the correct platform. You hear the train pull up and have to race to get to the platform in time.

6:05:45am You manage to get on the train with 2 seconds to spare

6:07am You arrive at the next station. The train sits there in the platform for 5 minutes. (You have 11 more stations to go…..)

6:12am The train gets moving again and stops at the next station for another 5 minutes. (You have 10 more stations to GO!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!)

6:15am The train starts moving again.

6:30am You reach your designated train stop and start running (or more like trying to run) to the overland train station.

6:35am You reach the overland train station and have to try and find your train.

6:37am You find what you think is the correct train, but cannot seem to open the carriage doors. You have to run to the carriage right at the end (as this is the only one that seems to be letting people in).

6:40am You sit down in the train in a sweaty, dazed mess as the train pulls away from the train station.

7:00am Two burly looking black guys (dressed in plaid) come into your carriage blasting loud obnoxious rap music on their mp3 player. (How rude….)

7:02am You look around – nobody is telling these guys to shut up as they are too scared to do so. You ask them whether they have headphones. They look at your threateningly and ask, “You gotta problem with us?” You explain that you are trying to sleep at this ungodly hour, and they grudgingly turn off their music. The whole carriage sighs with relief.

7:58am There is an extremely loud BANG. Somebody has thrown a brick at the train window and has cracked the outside glass (of the window) nearest to you…… SHIT!!!! Any harder and you would have needed plastic surgery (where the surgeons would have sprayed their own saliva into your open wounds during the operation – see “Tospy-Turvy London” for details), not to mention the long road to recovery in a head injury unit.

8:25am You reach your designated train station and start walking to the bus station.

8:40am You reach the bus station.

8:52am The bus pulls up into the bus bay.

8:57am Bus leaves from the bus station.

9:02am You reach the hospital grounds.

9:05am You reach your car (which you have parked in the hospital grounds).

9:07am You drive up the hill to your work place completely TIRED but somewhat on time for work. BLAH.

Moral of the Story: NEVER trust the tube. Just because the tube hasn’t been

running two Mondays in a row doesn’t mean that problems would likely be fixed

for the following Monday…